A Successful Relationship
A boy was born to a couple after 11 years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eye. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot about the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and fascinated by its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.
QUESTIONS:
What were the four words? What is the implication of this story?
ANSWER:
The husband just said, “I Love You Darling.” The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiving attitude, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think. “A successful relationship requires falling in love many times ― with the same person.”
一對夫婦在婚后十一年生了一個男孩，夫妻恩愛，男孩自然是二人的寶貝。男孩兩歲的某一天，丈夫在出門上班之際，看到桌上有一藥瓶打開了，不過因為趕時間，他只揚聲妻子把藥瓶收好，然后就上班去了。妻子在廚房忙得團團轉，完全忘了丈夫的叮囑。小男孩看到藥瓶走了過去，他覺得好奇，又被藥水的顏色所吸引，于是拿起它一飲而盡。藥水成份厲害，即使成人服用也只能用少量。男孩服藥過量昏厥，被母親送到醫院后，已經無力回天。妻子被事實嚇呆了，不知該如何面對丈夫。心情緊張的父親趕到醫院，得知噩耗非常傷心，看兒子的尸體，望了妻子一眼，然后就說了四個字。
作者留下兩個問題：
一是這丈夫說了哪四個字?二是這則故事的主旨是什么?
答案是：
丈夫只說了一句：“I love you, darling!”他完全出乎意料的反應是先發制人的(即反過來控制局面，而不被局面控制)。兒子的死已成事實，無論怎樣也不會死而復生了，埋怨母親沒有絲毫意義。況且，如果當時他花些時間把藥瓶收起來，這事也不會發生了。不應該為了這件事責怪任何一個人，妻子也同樣失去了兒子。在那時她需要的只是丈夫的安慰和同情。這四個字就是他所給予她的安慰。如果人人都能用這樣的觀點來看待生活，世上就會少了許多問題。放下所有的怨恨、嫉妒、不寬容的態度、自私以及懼怕，你會發現事情的境況原來并不如想象中的差。“與同一個人相愛多次，你們之間才能建立起成功的關系。”
這故事，主旨是彰顯人類選擇的自我層次，同一件不幸的事你可以怨天尤人，痛罵社會，甚至自責無窮，但事情卻不因這些而改變，這一切只改變了你和日后的生活，負著疤痕的活下去。反之，放下怨恨和懼怕，放下過去，勇敢的活下去，事情的境況并不如想象中的差，這就是作者所說的Proactive Behavior，也就是我們所說的由人轉境，而不是被外界事物牽走。很簡短的故事，但是，有多少人能做到呢?當我看到那句“I love you, darling!”的時候，心中感慨萬千，多么簡單的一句話，但要有多久的修煉，多大的包容，多深的人生智慧，才能在那種時刻說出如此令人動容的一句話，每個人都有不想讓人所知的不幸事，自己選擇了何種方式去面對，又怎么去面對未來以及外圍的人及事物呢……?
