For many of us, one Christmas stands out from all the others, the one when the meaning of the day shone clearest. My own "truest" Christmas began on a rainy spring day in the bleakest year of my life.
對我們許多人來說，總有某一個圣誕節因為我們充分感受到這一天的意義而顯得格外難忘。我自己的“最真實”的圣誕節發生在我一生中最為凄涼的那一年。
Recently divorced, I was in my 20s, had no job and was on my way downtown to go the rounds of the employment offices. I had no umbrella, for my old one had fallen apart, and I could not afford another one.
話得從春季的一個雨天開始說起，20多歲的我，剛剛離婚，沒有工作，正再一次趕往市中心的求職處。我沒帶傘，舊傘已經破損，而新的又買不起。
I sat down in the streetcar--and there against the seat was a beautiful silk umbrella with a silver handle inlaid with gold and necks of bright enamel. I had never seen anything so lovely.
我在有軌電車里坐下來，發現座位邊有一把漂亮的絲質傘，銀把手上面還鑲嵌著金子和亮麗的小片琺瑯。我從沒見過這么漂亮的東西。
I examined the handle and saw a name engraved among the golden scrolls. The usual procedure would have been to turn in the umbrella to the conductor, but on impulse I decided to take it with me and find the owner myself.
我查看了把手，發現在金色的卷軸中刻著一個名字。在這種情況下，人們通常的做法是把傘交給售票員，但我一時沖動決定把傘留著，自己去找失主。
I got off the streetcar in a downpour and thankfully opened the umbrella to protect myself. Then I searched a telephone book for the name on the umbrella and found it. I called and a lady answered.
我在傾盆大雨中下了車，感激不盡地打開那把傘遮雨。隨后我在電話簿里查找傘上的名字，確有其人。我打了個電話，接電話的是一位女士。
Yes, she said in surprise, that was her umbrella, which her parents, now dead, had given her for a birthday present. But, she added, it had been stolen from her locker at school (she was a teacher) more than a year before.
是的，她詫異地說那是她的傘，那是她已故的雙親送給她的生日禮物。但是，她補充說，傘一年多前被人從學校的柜子里偷走了(她是個教師)。
She was so excited that I forgot I was looking for a job and went directly to her small house. She took the umbrella, and her eyes filled with tears.
我聽出她很激動，我竟忘了自己還在找工作，直接到她家去了。她熱淚盈眶地接過傘。
the teacher wanted to give me a reward, but--though twenty dollars was all I had in the world--her happiness at retrieving this special possession was such that to have accepted money would have spoiled something. We talked for a while, and I must have given her my address. I don't remember.
那老師要給我酬金，盡管我當時身邊一共也不過20元錢，可看到她找回這件特別之物的巨大幸福時，接受她的錢無疑會破壞這種感覺。我們聊了一會兒。我很可能留下了我的地址。我記不得了。
the next six months were wretched. I was able to obtain only temporary employment here and there, for a small salary. But I put aside twenty-five or fifty cents when I could afford it for my lithe girl's Christmas presents.
接下來的半年里我的境況很凄涼。我設法四處打點零工，掙些微薄的薪水。但我盡可能每個月存25或50美分以備給小女兒買圣誕禮物。
My last job ended the day before Christmas, my thirty-dollar rent was soon due, and 1 had fifteen dollars to my name--which Peggy and I would need for food.
就在圣誕節的前一天，我又失去了工作。30元的房租很快就到期了，而我一共只有15元――這是佩吉和我的生活費。
She was home from convent boarding school and was excitedly looking forward to her gifs next day, which I had already Purchased. I had bough her a small tree, and we were going to decorate it that night.
她從女修道院辦的寄宿學?；貋砹?，十分激動地等著第二天的禮物，那是我早就買好了的。我給她買了一棵小樹，打算晚上再裝飾。
the air was full of the sound of Christmas merriment as I walked from the streetcar to my small apartment. Bells rang and children shouted in the bitter dusk of the evening, and windows were lighted and everyone was running and laughing. But there should be no Christmas for me, I knew, no gifts, no remembrance whatsoever.
我下了電車一路走回家，空中彌漫著圣誕節的歡樂氣氛。鈴兒叮當響著，孩子們在寒風刺骨的黃昏里叫喊著;四周是萬家燈火，每個人在奔跑著，歡笑著。但我知道，對我來說，將沒有圣誕節可言，沒有禮物，沒有懷念，什么都沒有。
As l struggled through the snowdrifts, l had just about reached the lowest Point in my life. Unless a miracle happened, I would be homeless in January, foodless, jobless. I had prayed steadily for weeks, and there had been no answer but this coldness and darkness, this harsh air, this abandonment.
處在人生低谷的我在暴風雪中艱難地行走著。除非奇跡出現，要不我在1月份便將無家可歸，沒有食物，也沒有工作。我已經堅持祈禱了好幾個星期，但沒有任何回應，只有這寒冷，這黑暗，這刺骨的風，還有這被遺棄的痛苦。
God and men had completely forgotten me. I felt so helpless and so lonely. What was to become of us?
上帝和人類都把我完全遺忘了。我感到自己那么無力，那么孤獨。我們的命運將如何呢?
I looked in my mail box. there were only bills in it, a sheaf of them, and two white envelopes which I was sure contained more bills. I went up three dusty flights of stairs and I cried, shivering in my thin coat.
回到家我打開郵箱，只有一把賬單，還有兩個白色的信封，肯定里面裝的也是賬單。我爬上三層積滿灰塵的樓梯，禁不住凄然淚下，又加衣衫單薄冷得直打哆嗦。
But I made myself smile so I could GREet my little daughter with a Pretense of happiness. She opened the door for me and threw herself in my arms, screaming joyously and demanding that we decorate the tree immediately.
但我擦擦眼淚，強擠出笑容，要讓自己在女兒面前露出喜悅之情。她打開門，直撲我的懷抱，欣喜地喊叫著要馬上裝飾圣誕樹。
Peggy had proudly set our kitchen table for our evening meal and put pans out and three cans of food which would be our dinner. For some reason, when I looked at those pans and cans, I felt brokenhearted. We would have only hamburgers for our Christmas dinner tomorrow.
佩吉已自豪地支好了桌子，擺上盤子和3個罐頭，這就是我們的晚餐。不知道為什么，當我看著那些盤子和罐頭時，我心痛欲碎。明天的圣誕晚餐我們將只有漢堡包。
I stood in the cold little kitchen, misery overwhelmed me. For the first time in my life, I doubted the existence and his mercy, and the coldness in my heart was colder than ice.
我站立在又冷又窄小的廚房里，滿腹悲傷。有生以來我第一次懷疑仁慈上帝的存在，心里比冰雪還要冷。
the doorbell rang and Peggy ran fleetly to answer it, calling that it must be Santa Claus. Then I heard a man talking heartily to her and went to the door. He was a delivery man, and his arms were full of parcels. "This is a mistake," I said, but he read the name on the parcels and there were for me.
這時門鈴響了，佩吉一邊飛奔著去開門，一邊叫著一定是圣誕老人。隨后我聽到一個人與佩吉在熱情交談，便走了過去。他是郵遞員，抱著好幾個包裹。“這弄錯了吧，”我說，但他念出包裹上的名字，確實是給我的。
When he had gone I could only stare at the boxes. Peggy and I sat on the floor and opened them. A huge doll, three times the size of the one I had bought for her. Gloves. Candy. A beautiful leather purse. Incredible! I looked for the name of the sender. It was the teacher, the address was simply "California", where she had moved.
他走后，我吃驚地盯著這些盒子。佩吉和我在地板上坐下來，把包裹打開。一個大大的娃娃，有我給她買的娃娃3倍大，還有手套、糖果、漂亮的皮夾子!難以置信!我找出了寄送者的名字，是那個教師，上面只簡單地寫著“加利福尼亞”，她已經搬到那兒去了。
Our dinner the nigh was the most delicious I had ever eaten. I forgot I had no money for the rent and only fifteen dollars in my purse and no job. My child and I ate and laughed together in happiness.
那天的晚飯是我吃過的最可口的晚飯。我忘了還得交房租，忘了兜里只有15元錢，忘了自己還沒有工作。我和孩子邊吃邊幸福地歡笑著。
then we decorated the little tree and marveled at it. I put Peggy to bed and set up her gifts around the tree and a sweet peace flooded me like a benediction. I had some hope again. I could even examine the sheaf of bills without cringing.
飯后我們裝點小圣誕樹，裝點得那么漂亮讓我們自己都驚奇不已。我安置好佩吉睡覺，將她的禮物放在圣誕樹的周圍。一種甜蜜的寧靜籠罩著我，像在給我祝福，我心里又燃起了希望。我甚至可以毫不畏懼地打開那一疊賬單了。
